Freewrite6

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Freewrite6

Post  jxl33 on Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:37 pm

The basketball court is crowded with teenagers who instead of sharing with the other members kick everyone else off to play full court, five vs five. The lighting was similar to that of the T.D. Bank North Garden giving off a feeling of importance. The players hustled and tried to make all their shots. The people, who weren’t playing, increasing by the second, begin to pay attention to the court observing each individual’s strong points and weak points carefully. They stood on the side, drinking their Gatorade and warming up, waiting for their chance to join in on the action. The court was ruled by the winning team, the winning team remained on the court while the losing team had to wait at the end of the line of challengers. They usually sat around with a towel hung around their neck, eating whatever junk food they brought from the vending machine. Every now and then, a team appears that excites all the bystanders, seemingly undefeatable. The elite players were now beginning to notice and wanted to prove their superiority. It becomes an intense game, and everyone watches as though it was a NBA game. Although the players argue and disagree about violations during the game, they would always shake hands at the end, indicating a newly formed friendship.

jxl33

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Re: Freewrite6

Post  cbehling on Fri Dec 03, 2010 1:33 pm

I like the description not only of the place itself, but the atmosphere within as well. The reader can feel the energy as they read it, to some extent. The feeling of being at a such a place is like no other, and its really interesting to be able to see it from this point of view.

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Re: Freewrite6

Post  MaryShelley on Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:02 pm

I don't know why I get so bogged down in the shifts from past to present in this passage. The sentences practically alternate between past and present. I find it jarring, but cbehling didn't notice! I also like the intense feeling of the game, which you convey.

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Re: Freewrite6

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