Dialogue Patrick

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Dialogue Patrick

Post  Patrick Varin on Tue Sep 28, 2010 5:12 am

It was a lethargic day, one full of sleep deprived students, kept awake only by the looming prospect of homework deadlines. The loudest sound was the dull pitter-patter of rain against the window. The world outside was obscured by a rising and falling haze and the steady flow of water down the pane.
The three computer screens illuminated the faces of the students that remained in the lounge. Their frustration could be measured by the intensity of their keystrokes. Their concentration was broken only by the occasional greeting of a passing classmate on the stairs and periodic glances at the clock.
“What time is it?” Jacqueline groaned without removing her eyes from the screen. She could have easily looked down at the clock on her computer or read the clock on the wall, but the broken silence was welcomed.
“I don’t want to sit through ModCon lecture again,” her classmate groaned. Gordon shifted in his seat, motioning his disapproval at the time that he saw.
“I don’t think anyone likes ModCon,” Jacqueline smiled, eyes still glued to the simulation that was running on her computer. “I’m always either too tired to care or too confused to understand. It’s a real problem.”
“My time would be so much better spent doing homework,” Gordon complained. “I had so much to do this weekend. The teachers keep telling us not to sacrifice our health for school, but this workload is killing me.”
“Woah, now! This isn’t Cornell,” Jacqueline inserted jokingly.
“Haha,” Jeremy, the third classmate laughed with a sarcastic grin. “There aren’t quite enough gorges around here for that.” A wiry smile had suddenly plastered itself on his face. “You know that the third floor windows aren’t suicide proof, don’t you?”
Gordon looked up with a sudden look of concern.
“No, no! I only know because Jackie tried to rappel down the building with bed sheets last year,” Jeremy defended himself. “Someone pranked her and—” he was interrupted by the ding of the elevator as another passerby made his way through the lounge.
“Use the stairs, conserve energy,” Jeremy responded facetiously, quoting the poster on the elevator door. “You know they put those posters up, but they leave the air conditioning running even on a day like this. A blistering sixty-one degrees.”
“I know!” Jacqueline replied, “and they leave the lights and the stove burners on in the dining hall at night. They talk about conserving money and energy, but there is so much that could still be done.”
Gordon grunted his disapproval, but did not turn away from his screen and Jeremy did not respond. Jacqueline’s level of agitation grew with the intensity of her mouse clicks. “In any case, I think that there are some things that should be changed. But I’m just too busy…” her voice trailed off as she realized that she was speaking to a distracted audience, and the room returned to its all too familiar silence.
“Time for ModCon,” Gordon broke the silence closing his laptop. The other two followed suit, looking dazed as if emerging from a trance. Spellbound, the three left for the door.

Patrick Varin

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Re: Dialogue Patrick

Post  elephantastic on Tue Sep 28, 2010 12:01 pm

You seemed to capture the way a lot of people talk, and the way the ending looped back to the beginning was a really nice touch.

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Re: Dialogue Patrick

Post  MrX on Tue Sep 28, 2010 12:06 pm

Good job setting the scene at the beginning. I could visualize the setting perfectly.
I couldn't really see a conflict in this but I liked the funny comments about saving energy and Jackie.

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Re: Dialogue Patrick

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